Archives for posts with tag: Past

20140802-161151.jpgDay 13 – Meditation and Conditioning

Thought for the day: I have the power to create new, positive beliefs about myself

Daily Quote:
Society cannot tolerate individuality, because individuality will not follow like a sheep. The sheep are always in the crowd because it feels more protected, secure. Only lions move alone — and every one of you is born a lion, but the society goes on conditioning you, programming your mind to be a sheep.” ~Osho

Today’s message from Osho is to allow and not be afraid to be yourself.

Per Osho, past conditions began as soon as we were born. We learn from our parents, school, society, and others who we are, how we should behave, etc.

It is now time to release old, past conditioning that no longer serves you–and embrace the true you and to love yourself for who you truly are–a beautiful, spiritual being having a human experience, with your strengths and your weaknesses, your good and your bad, and your beauty and your ugly… You beautiful, work in progress You.

I wrote before about how I was in an abusive relationship in the past, when I was in my twenties. Looking back, I can’t even fathom how I ended up in that kind of painful relationship.

I have always been an Independent Sunshine with a great knowing of who I was… until boys in high school.

It is in relating with others that we learn, and change (for good or bad). Somehow, I found myself questioning who I was when I was “relating.” That was when the gaps started to appear, and how I ended up in a relationship that wasn’t good for me.

The most painful abuse this man gave to me was the constant belittling. He went from charming, supportive man to the worse kind–the kind who needed to exert power and control over someone else because he couldn’t control himself or how his life was unfolding.

It took me a very long time to release the past, and to take back my power once more.

The only way I could release his hold on me was to learn to release the past, let go of the pain I incurred, and to learn to forgive.

Part of our journey in this life to wellness and wellbeing–and to live life fully–is to release old conditioning and to release the past… To forgive the past. It’s the only way, you will be able to move on with a clearer heart. It is the only way to move on with a heart that’s open to all the great possibilities that’s waiting to be given to you, once you are ready to accept and receive them.

Fly free and untethered.

Excerpt from the course
Once you start dropping (past) conditions, you will become aware of your wings. And those wings can take you to the ultimate reality: the flight of the alone to the alone. But there you can go only as an innocent being – unconditioned, utterly dis-identified from the past. Meditation is the way to release conditioning from the past.”

(Disclaimer: All images and meditations are from Osho’s 21-day meditation series by Mentors Channel.)

Related Links:
Osho: A Course In Meditation, 21 Day Workout For Your Consciousness (visit to register, it’s free).

Mentors Channel

Older posts regarding my meditation journey:
Day 1: Strength Through Devotion
Day 2: Meditations on Love and Relationship
Day 3: Meditations On Anger
Day 4: The Art of Living in Balance
Day 5: Love and Meditation go Hand in Hand
Day 6: Living Dangerously
Day 7: Watching The Mind
Day 8: It Needs Intelligence To Be Happy
Day 9: The Integration Of Body, Mind and Soul
Day 10: How To Slow Down
Day 11: Everybody Is Creative
Day 12: Intuition – Tuition From Within

20140613-195151.jpg“Leave the past behind. Let Hope guide you to a sunny new tomorrow.”

When all else fails, hope gets us where we need to go most. So take a deep breath, and just let go…

There is a saying that “all good things must come to an end.” Then the same must be true that “all bad things must come to an end,” too.

Over the last (and many) weeks, I have struggled with something. And isn’t it terrible when something like this comes when your plate is already full?

That something has to do with a person and the past. It seemed like everything reminded me of this man, and as memories, both good and bad, flooded, more thinking (and overthinking) happened–until it got to a point when the memories were encroaching into my life more and more. I also got to the point when I wanted it to stop, and the only way to stop it, is to face it.

Facing something that bothers you require being honest with yourself, so I knew that while I had good memories with this man, I also had bad ones. Was it worth it to me to dwell on what was and what it didn’t become?

Interestingly enough, it was in watching this season’s episode 3 of The Little Couple on demand that really made me stop and take a closer look at my current situation.

In episode 3, Jennifer Arnold went through chemotherapy for her stage 3 cancer and her husband, Bill Klein, was very loving and supportive–and in all previous episodes, you can feel their love and support for each other.

So I asked myself… “Isn’t this the kind of relationship you want for yourself, Mercedita?”

I want a mutually very loving, healthy, and supportive relationship. What I had with this man, was not that. So why was I continuing to dwell on something or someone that wasn’t good for me or what I want?

I remind myself that I have a choice, and as if to make a point, episode 3 came on soon after–maybe to encourage me to make a good one.


There are a lot for me to be grateful for today, especially for heat and electricity–these things I shouldn’t take for granted. I must always be aware and thankful that I am in a country where these are easily accessible, but I learned something else important to me.

Yesterday, I wrote about David Steindl-Rast’s TEDTalk on gratefulness. To be happy, we must be grateful and enjoy each given moment. To be open to the opportunity of a given moment, we must slow down and be in the present now.

One of my fears is the future, as it relates to men, love, and relationships. Before I would get too close with a man, I would self-sabotage or end it for many reasons relating to what I had experienced in the past. I had written this fear down and faced this fear the other day, and the best thing I could come up with to deal with it is to fully release the future.

I’ve tried doing that before and now I feel that I have been terribly half-hearted about those other times. When it comes to love when other people are involved, there’s no way of controlling the future. I can’t. I can only control myself.

Plus the only constant is change. What we do today can affect our future, so even if I was told I would meet someone who could change my life in a particular place on a particular day, but decide not to show up (maybe out of fear), for instance, then I lost that chance.

That is why it’s best to just live in the present–in the now, and just enjoy it fully. Let the future take care of itself, and instead, just enjoy the present (the gift) that is the “now.” I get it… now!

So today, I am grateful for “now.” I would like to end this post by sharing these lyrics from Katy Perry’s song, “This Moment.”

Do you ever think that
We’re just chasing our tails?
Like life is one big fast treadmill
And we pop what is prescribed
If it gets us first prize but you know
Who I
Who I think will win
Are the ones that let love in
Are the ones that take the time

All we have is this moment
Tomorrow’s unspoken
Yesterday is history
So why don’t you be here with me?

All we have is this moment
To put our love into motion
Yesterday is history
So why don’t you be here with me?
Be here with me now

Be here with me now
‘Cause the future is right now, right in front of you
Don’t let the clock, the clock tell you what to do
A future is right now, I’m in front of you
Baby don’t blink and miss

This moment


Patrick McDonnell’s Mutts

Mutts comic courtesy of

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