Archives for posts with tag: Pain

20140829-101710.jpgI have been dealing with something hard. So I asked, “How can I get out of my pain?”

And I received…

“Give it to God”

Image/card from Sonia Choquette’s “The Answer Is Simple” Oracle Cards.

I am very grateful to my Acupuncturist whose help is truly appreciated. It’s been about a month since I last saw her, and it was really over due.

It also turned out that my long walks were a part of the reason for some of my pain–and I thought I was doing something good. LOL! Oh well… Looks like it will be less scenery, more gym for awhile.

Cartoon courtesy of Mark Parisi of

clearheartLast night, I was helping someone who was in very much emotional pain. The kind that impinged on her self-worth… the kind where all hurts converged and they weighed her down to the bottom of the sea of despair.

While during this painful episode, she did some things that I would call self-sabotage, and wanted to continue to make more like decisions. Those would eventually hurt her even more.

I understand how she felt. I’ve been there before, many times, but here are some things I’ve asked her to do and some things I’ve learned to do to help myself:

1. Remember someone important


We are so much more than what we have experienced thus far. We are worthy of love, blessings, and miracles. We must remember how important we are.

We must remember that only we can love ourselves that way we need to be loved.  We need to love ourselves so much that no one can take that away from us or allow ourselves to give our self-worth and our self-love away.  We can love others so much more, if we have loads of it inside.

If you can’t remember, go to #2…

2. Reach out to someone

Reach out to someone who care about you.  Someone who can tell you the truth to your face when you need to hear it, but can listen and be compassionate, when you need that more.  They will help you remember #1.

3. Do something good for yourself

We need to do things on a regular basis that make us feel good like reading, laughing, cooking, writing, journaling, meditating, running, walking, singing, whatever they may be… We need to do something loving for ourselves, especially when we are in pain.

4.  Don’t make any decisions (especially rash ones) while emotional

We can be our own worse enemies when we are hurt. We can get in the way of our own happiness or do self-sabotaging things. If we decide when we are emotionally in pain, we might make decisions that can hurt us in the end or we will regret.  Wait… Sleep on it.  Wait until you have a clear heart.

5.  Enact a “Feel Good” day

This day (and it could be a few hours) is an uninterrupted “me” time.  Schedule these days as you need them.  These “Feel Good” days are days when you do everything you enjoy and love, unplugged or not.  (You can expand it to be “Feel Good Us” day or “Feel Good Family” day too)

I am grateful to be of help to someone dear last night. I am grateful to share some techniques that may be helpful to you or someone you know, in whole or in part.

Related Post:
To Have A Clear Heart
Lesson I Learned Yesterday

surrender“I surrender. Today I turn over all the fearful projections that I have placed upon myself. I release all self-doubt and attack today. In this moment, I choose to let it all go. I am willing to be guided to new projections. I am willing to love myself again. Inner Guide, please take the steering wheel and show me how to truly surrender my fear so I can wholeheartedly love myself again.”

That was today’s morning reflection from May Cause Miracles.  After over one week of doing the exercises from the book, I realized that there were some holes in my self-love.  I’m not happy about that realization, but at least I know and can do something about them.

When we are working on learning to love ourselves… it’s not until we are faced with certain situations, such as dating, new or current relationships (friendships, romantic, work, etc), holidays, doing exercises in books like May Cause Miracles, etc., do we get to see how much our work on ourselves has progressed.  It’s tested, but we have the choice to continue to work on ourselves.

Working to love ourselves is one of the hardest things we can do… for ourselves, but the willingness to surrender to love… to choose to release all fears, self-doubts, self-attack, and pain is a huge leap in the process. It’s the willingness… the choice to willingly face all our inner demons, makes up over 50% of the work already.

So I am grateful for the willingness to continue to work on myself and my self-love, even when I realized that I still have a lot to work on. 🙂

On Sunday, I wrote about the numbing sensation I was feeling on my foot and up the side of my leg.  I remember that I wasn’t feeling particularly worried about it, but a part of me wanted to worry about how I was going to train for an upcoming race.

The part of me that wanted to worry is the part I am trying to let go off.  It is the part that wants to overthink about my situation–to find answers and solutions, until the situation has been laid bare and naked, and shivering from the cold inspection.

I would joke around and say that I get paid (at work) to overthink, but I know what kind of havoc it creates in my personal life.

I decided to distract myself by reading blog posts about gratitude, and came upon the post, “Trust, And The Answers Will Come – Day 283 of The Pollyanna Plan“, and there it was, just what I needed…


So I decided, then and there, that I would not let the part of me that wanted to worry to have a chance to run around in my head–not on Sunday, not on Monday, and not even this morning, when I spoke to my manager about it.  Then the answer came to me, after I received a text from my personal trainer letting me know that he couldn’t meet with me today…

In a previous post, I wrote that I am still working on being patient, especially with healing. I tend to “forget” that my body has limitations right now, especially when I am not feeling any pain. It is usually only when something happens with my body, do I listen to it.

The numbness was my body letting me know, “Hey! You’re not back to normal yet.” Once I realized that, part of the numbness went away almost immediately.  While on the phone with my good friend, R, discussing what had happened, I realized that if all the numbness went away, I would just “forget” my current limitations yet again.

So today, I am deeply grateful to my body and for the important message it conveyed to me.  My tasks now are to listen to it more, and most of all, take better care of it.


The Pollyanna Plan

I am truly grateful that I stumbled upon Dr. Brené Brown. She really has great insights she is sharing with others, like this one…

“To love someone fiercely, to believe in something with your whole heart, to celebrate a fleeting moment in time, to fully engage in a life that doesn’t come with guarantees – these are risks that involve vulnerability and often pain. But, I’m learning that recognizing and leaning into the discomfort of vulnerability teaches us how to live with joy, gratitude and grace.”

I can’t help but have an emotional response to this quote, because it’s not easy to “engage in a life that doesn’t come with guarantees.”

I had a shift in my awareness last month, and a few more times before that this year. I am learning so much in such a short time about what it means to live my life, which is to fully live in the present now without expectations and without controlling my situation or the outcome. In other words, I am learning how to go with the flow while trusting that the flow will bring me to my highest potential and good.

This is, by no means, an easy (or pleasant) task for me and I still find myself in a state of resistance, but I know that eventually (and with lots of practice, maybe some tears of frustration, and possibly even some swearing ;D ), it will get easier for me to really just let go and go with the flow.


Brené Brown’s Site

I am grateful for Oprah’s Lifeclass with Dr. Brené Brown, Part 1 (watching Part 2 soon). I may be one of the few people who haven’t heard of her, but I now know who Dr. Brown is. Wow!

Here are some of her quotes:

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change.”

“Staying vulnerable is a risk we have to take if we want to experience connection.”

“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection.”

When I started this blog, I really vacillated on how much of myself to share. I was afraid of being vulnerable.

You see, this is my second blog. I started my first blog almost a year ago, and for the most part, it is anonymous. In it, I wrote about my past emotional and physical pain, and what I learned from facing my pain, abuse, mistrust, and my fears–in order to live my most authentic self.

I felt that my first blog helped me to face past baggages, cleanse, and find myself. I am grateful I was able to get a lot of things off my chest and make positive changes in my life. I feel that I have transcended most of the obstacles of my past and can now move on–which also meant, letting go of the first blog.

I knew that by putting this second blog up, I will publicly be putting myself out there, especially when I start working on my bucket list and posting images of my adventures as I complete them.

After watching part 1 of the Lifeclass with Dr, Brené Brown, I realized that vulnerability is also part of living life fully, and opening myself up is a brave thing to do and can help me connect much better with others.

Dr. Brown said, “there’s nothing more daring than showing up, putting ourselves out there and letting ourselves be seen.”

Being vulnerable allows us to be our most authentic selves.

I am grateful also to the people who have followed me thus far, and for sharing their own experiences, thoughts, and stories in their own blogs–and for showing their own vulnerabilities also. Thank you for our new connection and for inspiring me with you own posts.

Some links to share:

Brené Brown’s Site
Oprah’s Lifeclass with Dr. Brené Brown

I am grateful for the knowledge of how easy (and surprisingly not at all as painful as I thought) to let go of people and things that do not make me happy–once I chose to live my life in happiness..

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