Archives for posts with tag: Judging

20140803-094759.jpgDay 14 – How to Drop Judging People

Thought for the day: Today I become a witness, and judge nothing that occurs

Daily Quote:
Whenever there is no conflict between you and the whole, not even a rumor of conflict, you are healthy. To be whole is to be healthy. To be whole is to be holy. And what is the way to be holy, healthy, whole? Your heart should beat in the same rhythm as the heart of the whole. It is a great cosmic dance. It is a great harmony.” ~Osho

Today’s message from Osho is to learn how to stop judging others.

Excerpt from the course
Your judgment shows something about you, nothing about the person you have judged, because his history remains unavailable to you, his being remains unavailable to you. All contexts are lost, there is just a momentary flash – and your interpretation will be your interpretation. It will show something about you. Seeing this, judging disappears.”

I started with the course excerpt because I find it to be true. I am, I believe, less judgmental now–and that’s because whenever I find myself judging, I immediately ask myself, “Why are you doing this? What is the problem in you?”

Louise Hay has a morning and evening affirmation app from Apple. I listen to them for a few consecutive days when I need them. Sometimes I use it while falling asleep for positive conditioning. There is an affirmation that stood out when I first started to use it and came to mind to share. The affirmation is called “Other People are Mirrors of Us.”

It goes like this:
Each person in our life is a mirror of where we are in consciousness. Some people mirror the joyous, loving side of us, and some people mirror the patterns that on a very deep level we want to change… Then we usually get angry and blame them for being wrong.

Try to be aware that the people that irritate us the most have come into our lives to teach us what we need to learn about ourselves.

In this very relaxed state, allow your mind to go over the various people in your world that annoy you. Think of what it is about them that bothers you the most, and now honestly look into your own life and see where you do the same thing.

Now if you are willing to release that pattern from within yourself, then you will find, much to your surprise, that you have healed the relationship.

When you change your own thinking, you will change, and you will find that other people also change”.

One of the ways I practice non-judgment is by giving money to those I pass by on the streets or sidewalks who ask for it. I do it with a mindset of simply hoping it might ease their lives. I try not to think about how they will use it. Instead, as soon as I let go of the money, it is no longer mine, and they can do what they wish with it. Sometimes, I do add a prayer with the money, to help out more.

Sometimes, I do not even know what to do about myself… 😁 Far be it for me, to judge others on how they live. Better worry about myself first. HaHa

(Disclaimer: All images and meditations are from Osho’s 21-day meditation series by Mentors Channel.)

Related Links:
Osho: A Course In Meditation, 21 Day Workout For Your Consciousness (visit to register, it’s free).

Mentors Channel

Older posts regarding my meditation journey:
Day 1: Strength Through Devotion
Day 2: Meditations on Love and Relationship
Day 3: Meditations On Anger
Day 4: The Art of Living in Balance
Day 5: Love and Meditation go Hand in Hand
Day 6: Living Dangerously
Day 7: Watching The Mind
Day 8: It Needs Intelligence To Be Happy
Day 9: The Integration Of Body, Mind and Soul
Day 10: How To Slow Down
Day 11: Everybody Is Creative
Day 12: Intuition – Tuition From Within
Day 13: Meditation And Conditioning

I grew up in a culture in which girls had to prove that they are just as capable as boys.  To be a daughter in a culture in which sons are golden, I had to prove my worth.  I had to ignore my limitations. I had to learn to be invincible.

So when I got sick and I was crippled with pain a few times, I really detested being in a position to ask for help.  I felt vulnerable.  Weak.  I felt like Wonder Woman all my life until October of 2012.

I have a really good friend, R, whom I have known for maybe 5 months, but I totally bonded with.  Interestingly enough and serendipitously, everything in R‘s path were cleared so that my friend can focus on healing, except R wouldn’t ask for help and remained very independent–while still continuing to help others.  R is back in the hospital and we are all worried, but because of R, I learned something valuable.

In part 1 of Oprah’s Lifeclass with Dr. BrenĂ© Brown, Dr. Brown said something really profound…

“When you cannot accept and ask for help without self-judgment, then when you offer other people help, you are always doing so with judgment.”

How many of you know people who are dreadfully sick?  How many of them are so nice and so giving that you can’t believe that they could have cancer, an incurable disease, or something else just as dreadful?

I heard, earlier this month, at the Hay House World Summit via a conversation with Dr. Lissa Rankin, that most people who are sick are those who are constantly giving of themselves and they often fail to take care of their own selves.  They keep on helping others, until they are derailed by sickness, and they become the ones that need help.

TimeStill today, I am always ready to help others, just like R, but I also realized that it is not only important to take care of myself, but that in order to help myself, sometimes I need to be gracious enough to ask for and accept help.

So, R, I know you will eventually read this because I practically shoved the link down your throat… ;D  We are here for you.  You don’t even have to ask, but please do!  Do it for self-love!  Do it for you!  We are ready to give you our most precious gift… our time.

Some links:

Dr. Brené Brown on Help and Judging (Huffington Post article)
Dr. BrenĂ© Brown on Help and Judging Video (Oprah’s Lifeclass)
Hay House World Summit (2014)
Dr. Lissa Rankin
Rick Warren

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