Archives for posts with tag: Help

20140719-175835.jpgI am very independent. I’d rather not ask anyone for help, unless there is no other way (and I have exhausted all my options).

So when I got a herniated disc… (which I think may have been from a mixture of an accident as a kid, two falls when I was 17, a broken knee, and martial arts which put a toll on my body over the years), it was really tough for me.

Almost a year later, I am still doing acupuncture and acupressure once a week, out of pocket. It has since taken its toll on my finances.

Without asking, my parents gave me some money last month for my acupuncture/acupressure. For a long time, I struggled with actually accepting the money. I still feel bad about it, because I am so used to doing things on my own.

I am grateful to Mom and Dad… For helping their super independent first born.

I am grateful for the compliment I was given by someone at work in Southern Cal. LOL! She wants me to move down South so I can sit next to her and I can be her guru. She’s so funny.

I am grateful there are people at work that really make me happy and grateful to be there.

I am moving from one office cubicle to another to be closer to my team. One of my co-workers told me right away that he would help me move.

I was offsite on Monday and yesterday, so I was planning to clean the cubicle I am moving to this morning, but yesterday, D e-mailed me to let me know he had wiped down the desk for me (which he said was kind of dirty. The cubicle had sat empty for over a year and was used as a storage area and by visitors on our floor). I was surprised, but grateful! I told him I’d buy him lunch, but he said “sure, but in October.” (Huh? I think he is just truly helpful and doesn’t want people to make a big deal of it.)

This morning, I surprised him by buying him breakfast–a McDonald’s McDelight meal, to thank him. He was the one who told me about the McDelight when it first came out, and I prefer to give gifts that are meaningful to the receiver.

I am grateful for my co-worker who wants to help me. He was also the first to sign up for the community support events I am planning in the future at work. To be around good and kind people at work make a difference, since we are there for long hours most of the week, sometimes working on high-stress projects. It helps a lot!

I grew up in a culture in which girls had to prove that they are just as capable as boys.  To be a daughter in a culture in which sons are golden, I had to prove my worth.  I had to ignore my limitations. I had to learn to be invincible.

So when I got sick and I was crippled with pain a few times, I really detested being in a position to ask for help.  I felt vulnerable.  Weak.  I felt like Wonder Woman all my life until October of 2012.

I have a really good friend, R, whom I have known for maybe 5 months, but I totally bonded with.  Interestingly enough and serendipitously, everything in R‘s path were cleared so that my friend can focus on healing, except R wouldn’t ask for help and remained very independent–while still continuing to help others.  R is back in the hospital and we are all worried, but because of R, I learned something valuable.

In part 1 of Oprah’s Lifeclass with Dr. Brené Brown, Dr. Brown said something really profound…

“When you cannot accept and ask for help without self-judgment, then when you offer other people help, you are always doing so with judgment.”

How many of you know people who are dreadfully sick?  How many of them are so nice and so giving that you can’t believe that they could have cancer, an incurable disease, or something else just as dreadful?

I heard, earlier this month, at the Hay House World Summit via a conversation with Dr. Lissa Rankin, that most people who are sick are those who are constantly giving of themselves and they often fail to take care of their own selves.  They keep on helping others, until they are derailed by sickness, and they become the ones that need help.

TimeStill today, I am always ready to help others, just like R, but I also realized that it is not only important to take care of myself, but that in order to help myself, sometimes I need to be gracious enough to ask for and accept help.

So, R, I know you will eventually read this because I practically shoved the link down your throat… ;D  We are here for you.  You don’t even have to ask, but please do!  Do it for self-love!  Do it for you!  We are ready to give you our most precious gift… our time.

Some links:

Dr. Brené Brown on Help and Judging (Huffington Post article)
Dr. Brené Brown on Help and Judging Video (Oprah’s Lifeclass)
Hay House World Summit (2014)
Dr. Lissa Rankin
Rick Warren

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