Archives for category: November 2013

I am grateful to have received my new washer and dryer much earlier than the time slot I was given. The delivery was quick and smooth, and the couriers were very nice–though overworked. I found out they had 22 deliveries this Saturday, and they came around 1:30 p.m. local time at my place not having eaten lunch yet.

I felt so bad that I gave them a care package full of snacks and beverages, and a contribution for their lunch.

(For 11/30/13)

I did some minimal shopping after dinner at a local BBQ place to try it out. Most of my purchases were for everyday needs. I did do some comparison shopping for a couple of wants (i.e. laptop) for the near future.

I did go to a local video game store with my sister (who wanted to take advantage of some deals) and found a cool game at a discounted price. I asked about it and it ended up being a very rare game with a resale value that could possibly be triple what I paid for it. So I guess I lucked out on that, if I ever want to part with it.

When I had dropped off my sister at her place, I happened to have looked up, and the stars were all out, littering the dark canvas of night. It has been awhile since the sky has been clear enough to see more than the North Star.

The indigo sky, the bright points of light, and the shapes they formed–they were beautiful… (I tried to take a picture of it, but all I got was a black screen. Here is the constellation map from NASA instead.)

The starlit sky reminded me how infinite and vast our universe is, and how blessed we are to see it especially when the night is clear. I feel that even if we are each just a tiny speck in this universe, we still each have a role.

We can each make a difference in someone’s life, in our community, for our planet, etc. We have the choice to give a gift that can be a lasting impression to someone, to something, to somewhere. How cool and awesome is that!

I am grateful to have seen the infinite beauty of the universe last night–and to be reminded that even if we are just a small dot in it, we, each one of us, make differences just as vast as our universe.

(For 11/29/13)

I spent the morning texting those who have made a difference in my life with my gratitudes, and happily received them in return.

I am grateful spending time with my family and relatives. We have a non-Traditional Cajun-inspired seafood Thanksgiving from which to stuff our bellies this year, with chicken, sausage, and shrimp gumbo as my contribution.

We have a rather rambunctious crowd watching football. We have board games to play, and small kids to entertain us too.

Happy Thanksgiving to all my American neighbors. Happy glorious rest of the week to all.

Today brought a lot more introspection with understanding. I woke up to the sun’s rays peeking through the blinds of my bedroom, and my initial feeling was, “it’s going to be a good day.”

I am grateful for this new day–which brought with it plenty of discoveries and wonder. It gave me new perspectives.

This week so far, many things broke–my washer, a friendship, and my laptop. The washer breaking brought with it an opportunity for an upgrade, which I took advantage of. The broken friendship gave me a lesson to help me be a better person, woman, and friend. Although things are still up in the air in regards to the friendship, whether it heals or not, I am glad I learned a valuable lesson to ensure a repeat of that does not occur with others in the future. My laptop has been a hardworking document manager, keeper of secrets, and information gatherer. I took most of it apart and reassembled it, and it seems to be functioning. I will take the opportunity to backup my files, including my most updated bucket list!

I am grateful that from something that is broken can come healing.

I am grateful for my iPhone. It has been my way to write and review my posts in WordPress when my laptop was malfunctioning. I was able to configure my blogsite with it as well, even if it was a little tricky with the smaller screen.

I wish you all a good day/night!

I had written before that sometimes when I am having a problem and I need advice, I pick up a book and open it to a random page.

I was dealing with a challenging situation, and it was also challenging my self-love. So, I picked up Sonia Choquette’s The Answer Is Simple… Love Yourself, Live your Spirit! I thought about my issue, opened the book, and I couldn’t believe what I got!

From page 142:
“The best way to remain self-loving and aligned with Spirit when facing life’s challenges is to remember that they all are lessons–so stop feeling as though you’re a victim. This isn’t to suggest that the ones you face at times aren’t difficult or painful. It only means that until you acknowledge that your challenges exist to teach you something on a soul level, you can’t even begin to get past or rise above them. Whatever problem you encounter, know that it presents itself because there’s something in that situation that your soul wants to learn. The more quickly you acknowledge your problems as opportunities to acquire wisdom, the more manageable they become.”

I was upset and guilt-ridden, because in a moment of vulnerability, I did something that was not from a place of love or kindness. That night, I had restless sleep and my conscience just gnawed at me.

Basically, I texted in response to someone something that came out partly from resentment that had brewed for several months (and I did not yet have an opportunity to clear up) and partly from something else. In my weakness, lack of sleep, and some emotional stress, I said goodbye to an early friendship. I did not have a clear heart that time.

Nobody died. The world didn’t end, but I was pretty upset about what I had done and was worried about my friend. On top of that, I did it in text. I think texting should be banned sometimes… 😦

I realized that what I was going through was yet another lesson. I seem to have a lot of “opportunities to acquire wisdom” with this person. I apologized, but understandably, my friend is upset.

I struggle sometimes. I know that this is normal. I will have moments of weakness. I am not perfect. I will make mistakes. I will not be happy and positive every second, minute, hour, or day. What I do next, after a moment of weakness, is what is truly important and what will make a difference.

I am grateful for lessons from which I can learn. It is the only way I can grow to be a better person, woman, friend…

I have heard this a lot mostly from Elderly people and those who are going through major illnesses, but it goes beyond cultures.

They are grateful if they can wake up the next morning and be alive.

I woke up sore, yet even pain tells me I am alive.

Today, I am grateful for being alive–for each deep, cleansing breath that I take, and for each present moment.

It was a great day for the inaugural Berkeley Half Marathon! The race was a 10K, 10 mile, or a half marathon. I heard that there were over 7,000 participants!

I did the 10K, and it was my very first race ever! I have not posted my bucket list yet, but a half marathon is one of the things I want to accomplish.

The 10K was a great opportunity for me to get a feel of what a race was like. With a foot and leg slightly numb, I am glad I still went for it.

After the first mile, I felt a bit of a problem with the numbness, but I decided to continue with it. I had two water breaks, but didn’t stop.

The last mile for me was the toughest one, and felt quite long! What surprised me the most was that I completed the 10K in less than two hours! I had estimated maybe two-and-a-half hours, possibly even three.

It was a great experience doing this with friends. There were many local residents rooting for us along the way, which was absolutely sweet. There was even a group who serenaded us acapella as well!

After the race, there were plenty of snacks, water, and coconut water for which I was thankful for. I had my bib mailed, so I didn’t get my shirt before the race. The long sleeved shirt was a nice memento of the experience. Each racer also received a medal and also beer from the local brewery, Pyramid Alehouse & Brewery. I didn’t imbibe this time, as I was very happy with my water! HaHa!

I am grateful for completing my very first race, and for this wonderful Santa Fe savory crêpe from the Crepevine with a pot of Earl Grey tea.


I am grateful celebrating with my work family. I have known most of them for almost 12 years.

I was the only female in my department in San Francisco for many years, and I was often teased by my male co-workers, but they are harmless. 😉

My host (co-worker) and hostess (his awesome wife) always throw the best parties with a lot of food and a lot of liquor, where there are often “shot” times.

Although I am not much of a drinker, I imbibed today and also participated in a couple of shots (whiskey)–which was all I could handle while still maintaining my natural charm and brain function.

I will tell you a funny story that happened last year. After one of these parties, one of my single male co-workers asked to stay the night at my place (in my guest bedroom). He has flirted with me for years, and continues to do so.

To ensure he got the hint that nothing was going to happen, I left to “slip into something more comfortable,” and wore my most comfortable yet unsexy sweat ensemble. It was one of the most funniest situations ever. He got the hint, we had a lot of laughs about it, and plenty more laughter after the other co-workers found out about my outfit.

I do love my work family. We have been through so many changes at work, and I can count on them for anything. I am blessed with fantastic support and friendship.

Nearly 6 months ago, I went to an Art/Play exhibit by Ragged Wing Ensemble to support some new friends.  As we walked in, we were given a pen and some tags to add our thoughts to some interactive displays on the wall.  I would like to share a couple of my responses.

The first three pictures were for the display “When I met (meet) the love of my life I was (I will be)…

loveofmylife2The two circles at the very top were written by the parents of one of my new friends. They were so adorable. The first said, “I was 19 and he was 21. That’s 59 years ago.” The second one said, “We have remained Friends, Lovers, and Companions since 1953.” How cute, right? I love it the most that they have been all three–Friends, Lovers, and Companions!


This couple may have already celebrated 60 years together. That is a great feat. With so many divorces out there, it is always so nice to meet couples, or hear about couples, celebrating 10, 20, to up to 60+ years of marriage!


Back then, I was working on self-love, but at that time, I didn’t yet realize that only I had the power to open my heart. I am grateful that I realized my power!


For this second display, I wrote that I was still waiting for “my Imzadi.” The term, “Imzadi” is from Star Trek: The Next Generation (I love Star Wars too). It is a Betazoid term meaning “the first person with whom one has shared not only physical intimacy, but spiritual intimacy as well.” It is synonymous to “Beloved.”

I am grateful for the anticipation of one day meeting my Imzadi!


Ragged Wing Ensemble

Related Posts:

Day 6/365: Unconditionally

Day 30/365: When In Doubt, Follow Your Heart

Musings On Love

Day 39/365: Hope

Day 41/365: Free Floating, Patched Up Heart

I received this zenpencils’ cartoon from my good friend, S, this morning, and thought I’d share.

Although, I have never been in love, my heart has had its shares of wounds. I’ve closed it off like below.

My story could have been the same up to the point of locking it away and not letting anyone close to it, except…


I bandaged and inflated my own heart through self-love, and I absolutely know that opening my heart will make me vulnerable, and that’s okay.

Another friend, R, have said to me several times, “you just need to find someone who can unpack your baggages.” I never really understood that, because I felt that I should unpack my own, so that I could be whole to love someone. Perhaps I may be someone who has to help patch up someone’s heart, I don’t know…

All I know is, love is the greatest gift I could ever give to someone else. If my love is returned, then that’s a real treasure.

Not unlike the cartoon, I am sure that when I meet someone who I can potentially fall in love with, there would be moments when I would want to close off my heart out of fear. I am aware of this, and this awareness I hope will help me through the unpredictable journey of love, rather than give in to fear and lose out on the opportunity to love and be loved.

That’s all I can really do, right? So I am grateful for my free floating, patched up heart… 😉

Zen Pencils

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