20140603-225441.jpgSome people would probably like having a refrigerator and freezer full of food. So do I, but it became another lesson for me.

I realized that when I feel a lack in my life, something gets “filled.” It’s almost like emotional eating or its opposite, self-denial.

Yesterday, I came upon a Law of Attraction called the Law of Paradoxical Intent. I really didn’t get it much except that maybe it was feeding my self-sabotage, until that is… I looked inside my fridge this afternoon.

I used to joke that I had a couple of past lives when I was a child who starved to death to explain why I feel the need to always have a stock of food. I love to cook and I share my cooking with others, and most of the time I stock up when there are really good deals, but I realized that I do tend to buy more and stock when I am feeling a lack, and it saddened me, because I have been working so hard on the concept of abundance.

I didn’t know that I had hidden beliefs that were going against what I have been so hard at work to do. I had been self-sabotaging my efforts, feeling less than deserving, so I was filling my life in some way to compensate. Facing that has been interesting, but I am glad and grateful for the lesson, because now I know… and I can turn this all around for me and heal.