20140414-190411.jpgToday started out well. My car had a new battery and I had a much better appreciation for it, knowing I am free again to go wherever I wished, at any time, without needing anyone’s help. The drive to work was subdued and I just flowed with the traffic, listening to songs from my iPhone, because I didn’t notice yesterday that I needed to put in the code for my radio system, after my car battery was changed.

When I arrived to work and opened my e-mail, despite seeing that my performance review was available for me to read, I didn’t have any qualms about what it may contain. I was on two medical leaves for about 11 weeks total last year. I wasn’t expecting it to be like the performance rating I received the year before.

I didn’t have any anxiousness of what the review may contain, but after having read it, there was a part of the performance review that bothered me… something to do with me pushing through my health issue and physical pain during the healing process after returning to work.

“Her dedication is extremely admirable and was recognized by her fellow Project Team Members and her peers. Mercedita literally gave up her “body and soul” for this project.

I did not feel that this was a good thing. It reminds me of when I used to work like a dog without care of my body, which led me to getting sick in the first place. Yet I think it was just the wording that bothered me really, and I let it go.

Luckily, today was the first day of Oprah and Deepak Chopra’s Finding Your Flow meditation experience (see next post), and it was about “finding security”, so that no matter what happens, you can go within to a place where you can feel safe, even if there are rain storms outside.  It seems so fitting today. 😉

You would think that getting your performance review may be enough fun to experience in one day, but I received a call from my Uncle, who was preparing my taxes, to let me know that I will be paying again this year.

Again, I was going to go with the flow today. I put my trust in and I already had a mindset that today will be okay. With a refund from the State, I would only have to pay less than $200 for my Federal taxes. Whew!

The only sad thing was that I forgot my lunch at home, but it gave me an opportunity to go outside and enjoy the sun and get some vitamin D (which my Acupuncturist said I needed anyway). So it turned out well. I picked up a caesar salad, and halfway through I realized that I should be mindful of eating, rather than checking e-mail, so I decided to practice mindfulness and truly be in the moment of tasting and chewing my food.

I enjoyed the tanginess of the dressing, made spicy by the speckles of black pepper. The salty parmesan cheese shreds were soft against the contrasting crunchiness of the sweet romaine lettuce and hard garlicky croutons. I even delighted in the way the dressing infiltrated the porous insides of the croutons.  It was a tasty lunch.

Something else happened today.  I came back from picking up lunch and I was barraged by a lot of texts, about rain boots… Here is a glimpse of what it’s like to hear from me via text (my response is the blue one).

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Here is a picture of the rain boots that made everyone curious.
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But here is something that friend, R, sent after the rain boots picture that was the best picture of all.
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I got home fine.  My forgotten lunch became my dinner, and reruns on the Travel Channel are playing to keep me company as I type my posts.  Overall… I think my first day of surrendering and letting go went well, I think.  I need to work on quieting my mind more (there is still too much chatter) and to be more mindful and present in the moment.