Familial responsibilities have a way of getting to me, especially during trying times. Although I can remain pretty calm even when things are really bad, it is when the others are having a hard time that can really get to me.
Yesterday morning, when Auntie J received the news that her husband had a cardiac arrest (although revived), she let out a soulful wail and broke down. Auntie would joke that she and I are similar and I should have been her kid.
Hearing her yesterday morning, I think I may do the same, faced with similar scenarios. I am working on having a truly, unwaveringly open heart, but I am really scared.
I know I am the type to love with all of me; hence, the reason why I fear to love and have never been in love. I fear that loving fully this way may break me. It has been a daily process for me to work on releasing this fear because I do want to be with my Imzadi and have my little family one day.
I can deal with anything that comes my way. I know I am strong and capable, but anything to do with family is what stresses me out the most, because it is a very important part of my life.