20131114-172259.jpgWhen I wrote my post, “To Have A Clear Heart,” I really didn’t feel good about it.  I think I was still trying to understand the concept of what I read about having a clear heart.  I even asked my cousin to read it and see if it was okay, because I just felt it was cold and impersonal to me. Little did I know that I was going to learn about it in a big way.

(Please note: In order to understand what I learned yesterday, I will be placing an asterisk (*) with a number throughout my post, but I will explain each later.)

After I pulled into the Food Bank’s parking lot, I collected the things I would bring with me like my car keys and phone.  Somehow, I decided to take my driver’s license (*1) with me; which in past volunteer work, I never did.  I locked up the car and put my driver’s license in my pants’ zippered pocket along with my car keys.

When we finished, on the way out, I pumped some alcohol gel into my left hand and then wiped away, finishing outside of the building.  Sometime after I exited the building and when I got to my car, I took my car keys from my pocket.  When I got to my car, I reached into my pocket to put my driver’s license into my wallet and that was when I realized I no longer had it.

I got out of the car and started to backtrack.  The captain of our volunteer team and another team member were chatting off to one side, and I almost reached out to them if they may have seen my license on the ground (*2), but I decided to keep searching on my own (*3).  When I reached the door to the office and pulled, it was locked.  I looked in and all the lights were off.  I realized they had already closed down the office.  Luckily, someone heard me try to open the door and let me in to search for my license inside.  I did not see it.  By this time, I started to pray because I started to worry.+

I remember having a subtle feeling to calm down, take a few deep breaths, be quiet, and be still(*4), but I started to think about the mess I was in.  I continued to worry.  I became distracted by all the truck drivers trying to fill their trucks with bins of produce for deliveries and wondered if I should ask them if they have seen my license.  The captain and the other team member had finished their talk, so I decided to ask the captain, V, if he had seen my license.  He did not, but he decided to help me.

We went back to the office, but this time, no one came to the door.  I started to talk about my fears.  V was very calm, helpful, and positive the entire time.  On the way to the front of the building where we could come in through another set of doors, V saw a plastic card on the ground and reached down to get it.  It was my driver’s license!  It was close to the area where he and the other team member were chatting a few minutes ago.

I thanked him and was extremely grateful.  Then I started to laugh and told V about a post I had written about having a clear heart the night before.  That if you act while in the midst of strong emotions, you won’t be able to act clearly (*5).  I finally understood it… I was given the opportunity to learn it first hand.

So here are my lessons learned (and hope not to forget!):

*1: Driver’s License: I didn’t need it, yet I still took it with me.  That should have made me think something was up. HaHa!

*2: I did not stop to ask my two team mates if maybe they saw something on the ground.  (I might have seen my driver’s license then.)

*3: I decided not to ask anyone for possible help, and continued to take care of things on my own.  I need to learn to ask for help.

*4: I felt the need to calm myself down, but I ignored it. Follow your intuition, woman! (Sigh)

*5: Strong emotions will cloud your thinking.  Calm down and let the waves of emotions come and go first, before doing anything.

I am grateful for the lessons I learned yesterday.

Footnote:

+ When I traveled around Japan, Hong Kong, Philippines, and South Korea (I did not know the language at all and my survival Korean phrase book did not help) by myself a few years back, whenever I felt that I had exhausted everything I could do on my own, as soon as I prayed for help, I received it.  That was when I realized (1) all my prayers are heard, (2) I am never alone, and (3) I will always be alright, no matter what.  The hard thing is not forgetting when strong emotions are in the way!  HaHa!

Links:

My reference post, To Have A Clear Heart.