Archives for the month of: October, 2013

Happy Halloween, All Hallow’s Eve, and Samhain! There is magic in the air… Be safe and well!

Today, I am grateful to have learned what it truly means to help and accept help from others without judgment. (For more details, please see my post, “Help and Time”). I would not have learned it fully had I not seen a lesson unfold before my good friend, R.

I grew up in a culture in which girls had to prove that they are just as capable as boys.  To be a daughter in a culture in which sons are golden, I had to prove my worth.  I had to ignore my limitations. I had to learn to be invincible.

So when I got sick and I was crippled with pain a few times, I really detested being in a position to ask for help.  I felt vulnerable.  Weak.  I felt like Wonder Woman all my life until October of 2012.

I have a really good friend, R, whom I have known for maybe 5 months, but I totally bonded with.  Interestingly enough and serendipitously, everything in R‘s path were cleared so that my friend can focus on healing, except R wouldn’t ask for help and remained very independent–while still continuing to help others.  R is back in the hospital and we are all worried, but because of R, I learned something valuable.

In part 1 of Oprah’s Lifeclass with Dr. Brené Brown, Dr. Brown said something really profound…

“When you cannot accept and ask for help without self-judgment, then when you offer other people help, you are always doing so with judgment.”

How many of you know people who are dreadfully sick?  How many of them are so nice and so giving that you can’t believe that they could have cancer, an incurable disease, or something else just as dreadful?

I heard, earlier this month, at the Hay House World Summit via a conversation with Dr. Lissa Rankin, that most people who are sick are those who are constantly giving of themselves and they often fail to take care of their own selves.  They keep on helping others, until they are derailed by sickness, and they become the ones that need help.

TimeStill today, I am always ready to help others, just like R, but I also realized that it is not only important to take care of myself, but that in order to help myself, sometimes I need to be gracious enough to ask for and accept help.

So, R, I know you will eventually read this because I practically shoved the link down your throat… ;D  We are here for you.  You don’t even have to ask, but please do!  Do it for self-love!  Do it for you!  We are ready to give you our most precious gift… our time.

Some links:

Dr. Brené Brown on Help and Judging (Huffington Post article)
Dr. Brené Brown on Help and Judging Video (Oprah’s Lifeclass)
Hay House World Summit (2014)
Dr. Lissa Rankin
Rick Warren

I am grateful for completing the business resumption plans for the year at work, and I am not working late tonight.

I am grateful for dinner with two wonderful and awesome people!

I am grateful for giving myself the chance to finally mourn a loss. I have been doing my best to live life as positively as I could, but I don’t think living positively means that I should ignore something that pained me.

After a few days of trying to ignore and push this loss aside, I finally let myself go and cry.

I surrender and release this pain.

Tomorrow is a new day. When I wake up in the morning, I am going to pick myself back up.

I am grateful for Oprah’s Lifeclass with Dr. Brené Brown, Part 1 (watching Part 2 soon). I may be one of the few people who haven’t heard of her, but I now know who Dr. Brown is. Wow!

Here are some of her quotes:

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change.”

“Staying vulnerable is a risk we have to take if we want to experience connection.”

“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection.”

When I started this blog, I really vacillated on how much of myself to share. I was afraid of being vulnerable.

You see, this is my second blog. I started my first blog almost a year ago, and for the most part, it is anonymous. In it, I wrote about my past emotional and physical pain, and what I learned from facing my pain, abuse, mistrust, and my fears–in order to live my most authentic self.

I felt that my first blog helped me to face past baggages, cleanse, and find myself. I am grateful I was able to get a lot of things off my chest and make positive changes in my life. I feel that I have transcended most of the obstacles of my past and can now move on–which also meant, letting go of the first blog.

I knew that by putting this second blog up, I will publicly be putting myself out there, especially when I start working on my bucket list and posting images of my adventures as I complete them.

After watching part 1 of the Lifeclass with Dr, Brené Brown, I realized that vulnerability is also part of living life fully, and opening myself up is a brave thing to do and can help me connect much better with others.

Dr. Brown said, “there’s nothing more daring than showing up, putting ourselves out there and letting ourselves be seen.”

Being vulnerable allows us to be our most authentic selves.

I am grateful also to the people who have followed me thus far, and for sharing their own experiences, thoughts, and stories in their own blogs–and for showing their own vulnerabilities also. Thank you for our new connection and for inspiring me with you own posts.

Some links to share:

Brené Brown’s Site
Oprah’s Lifeclass with Dr. Brené Brown

I am grateful for my Uncle O. and Auntie R. who love me so much, they woke up at 4:00 a.m. to take me to the airport for my early morning flight.

I am grateful to hear Bruno Mars’ song, “Treasure,” soon after requesting a song for inspiration from God.

I am grateful for this tasty meal at the airport. It really warded off the cold, but it really looked like it was staring at me while I ate! ;D

I am grateful for my friend G., who picked me up from the airport!

I am grateful for my Mom and Sis who took care of my mini panther while I was away.

I am grateful to know that my friend, R., looked well when I visited the hospital, and may be discharged soon.

I am grateful for the chance to help my friend, S., with her CD release party, and to have watched a fantastic show!

(For 10/27/13)

On the way to the airport, I asked God mentally if I could have a song–maybe something to inspire me today. So when the notes of the next song started to play, I had to chuckle. For it was… Bruno Mars’ “Treasure”.

Treasure, that is what you are
Honey, you’re my golden star

What a beautiful message at pre-dawn, don’t you think?

I particularly enjoyed this part of the song as well! Haha! ;D

You’re wonderful, flawless, ooh, you’re a sexy lady

It is always nice to hear “you are a treasure”, so I want to extend this message to you too, because…

You are a treasure! Please don’t forget it!

I am grateful to know how well my five nephews up North are growing up–from the oldest at 10 years of age to the newest at a couple of weeks old.

For two of them (the oldest, D, and his little five year old brother, J), they have had to go through several drastic changes over the last couple of years due to their parent’s separation and divorce proceedings.

It is great to see D helping his mom care for his younger brother, and I think the two brothers are beginning to find their way somehow and growing into their new family structure with less anger and pain. I hope that things will continue to go positively for them.

I am grateful for one more day with my extended family… for a bit more sharing and bonding.

I am grateful for the time I am spending with family up North. I love catching up and reminiscing with them, and just simply reconnecting.

I am grateful for the chance to bond with my cousin, E. She is so inspiring and positive, after having gone through so many personal ordeals.

When it comes to dating, we are in the same boat. The dating scene is completely different from what I knew, and she has given me a lot of insights on men and why it is important to change my current perspective on dating so that it becomes a much more fun process.

I am grateful for the abundant food and the joyful times we have shared so far. I am lucky to have this chance for a mini family reunion.

(For 10/25/13)

In this year alone, there were many pregnancies in my extended family. There were a total of seven. I often joked that there must have been something in the water.

There were some relatively easy births. There was even one pregnancy that was lost. That pregnancy was particularly heart wrenching, as the baby fetus, a little boy, was nearly full term, and this was my cousin-in-law and her husband’s second attempt to have a child. Their first attempt sadly ended in a miscarriage, a little over a year ago.

Last night, I held one of the newest additions to the family. Baby C is two-and-a-half months old. He came out with a full shock of hair and tiny body fur. He must have been a little cold in the womb, while he was growing up. 🙂

Baby C was very much hoped for, and with the help of both Western and Eastern medicine, he was able to be conceived and born.

I think, when he hears about the many years his parents tried and all the different approaches they used, Baby C will come to appreciate his life.

This is how I woke up today… thinking about the babies that were born and lost. It made me think about my new lease in life.

So… this precious Life

How are you going to enjoy it?

How are you going to live it?

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